


Letters to London

by Ivybat



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: F/M, M/M, Messenger, Romance, Unconventional Writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-10-13 03:02:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20575373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivybat/pseuds/Ivybat
Summary: London doesn't like anyone. He doesn't like St Louis. And he especially doesn't like cats and their annoyingly cheerful witch owners. Moving back to St Louis is a nightmare he just can't seem to escape fromAdeline Parker-Tate is a Witch who works at the Circus of the Damned. She loves her job, that is until a very annoying Vampire returns to St Louis to rejoin the kiss. To make matters worse he's given her room and Adeline is kicked out. Well, not if Adeline has anything to say about it (and she has a lot to say on pretty much everything).





	1. Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men Allowed!!)

**Author's Note:**

> This is written in an experimentation of styles (e.g. in the style of Messenger, letters, diary entries etc.). Let me know what you think!

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men Allowed!!)**

_5.30pm_

Adeline has created a new Messenger group 

Adeline has changed the name of the Messenger group to ‘Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men Allowed!!)’

Byron has been added to the chat

Anita has been added to the chat

Elinore has been added to the chat

MengDie has been added to the chat

Claudia has been added to the chat

Cherry has been added to the chat

Byron: I feel like I should take offence to the name of this chat. You know I’m a bloke right? 

Adeline: Yes, obviously. But you’re a safe bloke. I have created this chat because the general chat is annoying and it hard to talk about womanly things when you need to in front of everyone. So here we are. This is a safe space!

Cherry: Great idea @Adeline! I love it!

Claudia: Yeah, I like this idea. Hey @Cherry @Adeline, I’m leaving for the shops in an hour can you please be ready so we can leave?

Adeline: [thumbs up emoji]

Cherry: [thumbs up emoji]

MengDie: [thumbs down emoji]

_6.20pm_

Adeline: Perfect example of why we needed this group. Can someone please help me, I am stuck in the bathroom on the second floor and I just got my period. Can someone get me a Tampon? @MengDie you’re in the kitchen aren’t you? Can’t you just swing by my room and grab one for me?

MengDie: No 

Adeline: Please??

MengDie: No.

Adeline: PLEASEEEEEEE

MengDie: NO.

Adeline: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

_6.45pm_

Claudia: Excuse me, but can you please hurry your sorry asses up. I am waiting outside and if we don’t leave now we won’t make it to the shops before they close (I’m talking to you @Cherry and @Adeline).

Cherry: Sorry sorry sorry. Be there in a minute.

Adeline: Sorry, not sorry. I legit just got my period, ok? I am waiting for @MengDie, to hurry the fuck up and bring me a tampon. I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 25 MINUTES @MengDie WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU COMING?

MengDie: No.

Adeline: WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DETOUR TO MY BEDROOM AND GRAB ME ONE?

MengDie: No. I have told you no FIVE times now.

Cherry: @Adeline. I’m bringing you one now.

_6.55pm_

Adeline: I’m on my way. No thanks to @MengDie, who won’t be getting any part of my millions when I win the Lotto.

MengDie: We’ll see.

Elinore: There is a staff meeting at 9.30pm today. Please ensure you ladies are back by then.

Claudia: [Thumbs up emoji]

* * *

**Circus of the Damned Staff Chat Group**

_9.20pm_

Elinore: Staff meeting in the oval room in 10 minutes. All staff, including day shift there please.

_9.35pm_

Elinore: @Adeline where are you?

_9.45pm_

Adeline: Sorry. Managing front desk. Vamp pulls up, tells me his name is London and that he is retuning to this kiss. I say: London isn’t a real name and you can’t just walk in. @Wicked @Truth Old mate isn’t on the list.

Wicked: @Zane is supposed to be up front. Why are you up front?

Adeline: @Zane said he had to go do something important and asked me to cover.

Wicked: @Zane? Where are you?

Zane: [Eggplant emoji] [Eggplant emoji] [Ghost emoji] [Toilet Emoji]

Truth: That isn’t an answer. 

Asher: Let London through, ma Sorcière.

Adeline: Are we sure we want to do this? Major creep vibes coming through 

Asher: Oui, Merci. 

_9.55pm_

Cherry: CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MESSAGING ME???? I’M TRYING TO PAY ATTENTION TO THIS MEETING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Asher: ??

Cherry: Sorry. Wrong chat.

Zane: [Thumbs up emoji]

* * *

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men Allowed!!)**

_10.55pm_

Adeline: Just letting everyone know I’ve now moved to room 243, and am no longer in room 242, as I have been demoted in favour of a Vampire called Bristol or something.

Cherry: [sad face emoji]

MengDie: [thumbs down emoji]

Byron: Poor Duckie. Meanwhile I’m at Guilty Pleasures with a tonne of glitter covering my body and IT IS NOT COMING OFF.

Cherry [sad face emoji] 

Adeline: Well jokes on Bristol because Sphanx won’t leave. She may be a cat, but she’s not scared of anyone and she’s claimed the room as hers. So we’ll see how long he lasts in room 242. Have you tried a Shower @Byron?

Byron: HaVe YoU tRIeD a SHoWeRRrrrRRrr. Sod off.

Adeline: I can and will hex you. DON’T PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE. I AM A WOMAN ON THE CUSP OF BREAKDOWN. I HAVE MY PERIOD, I JUST LOST THE BEST ROOM IN THIS HALLWAY, MY CAT ATE ONE OF MY CANDLES, AND I AM EXTREMELY SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED BECAUSE I HAVEN’T HAD A DATE IN A YEAR. SO YOU CAN TAKE YOUR GLITTER AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR PERFECTLY BLEACHED ASSHOLE.

Byron: Aw Duckie. I’m sorry.

MengDie: Please stop talking, all of you.

Cherry: @Adeline can you cover for me for tomorrow’s night shift in the ticket stand?

Adeline: OK, but only can do it till 2.30am. I have a coven meeting after that.

* * *

**Private Messenger with Zane and Adeline**

_11.10pm_

Zane: Thanks for covering for me before. Can you cover for me, for tomorrow’s night shift at the information desk?

Adeline: Sorry, Cherry got to me first. I’m covering for her. Maybe ask Faust?

_11.21pm_

Adeline: hang on a sec. You AND Cherry are both busy tomorrow at the SAME TIME? You guys back together or something?

Zane: [Smiley face emoji] [Winky face emoji] [kissy face emoji] 

Adeline: Say whaaaaatttttt!!

* * *

**Letter to a Vampire**

Dear <strike>Bristol</strike> London,

Welcome to room 242, I hope you are enjoying yourself. I walked passed earlier and saw you moving in some bookshelves, which is wonderful. You’re making yourself at home, very nice.

Well don’t get too comfortable. You may have noticed a black cat stalking through the room. Her name is Sphanx and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t lay a hand on her.

If you’re think to yourself, ‘I’m a buff, strong vampire, I can kick this cat out of the room’, think again!! This cat has taken on not one but three vampires before and WON. Prior to your sick invasion of room 242, Sphanx and I lived in what can only be described as perfect, blissful harmony. Your staying there has RUINED this harmony the same way Hitler RUINED Germany. So, with this in mind (and assuming you don’t want to be like Hitler) I have devised some rules which will mean both you and Sphanx will live together relatively peacefully.

Rule 1: Sphanx is a familiar. And as such, should be treated with the utmost respect. When you enter and leave the room, you should never turn your back to her, instead bowing forward and backing away/shuffling in.

Rule 2: Sphanx has a smooth shiny coat, to achieve this you must brush her fur four times a day with the wooden handle brush I have left in the bathroom under the sink. She is to be brushed only moving with the fur and not against it, starting with her head. She does not like when you brush her fur the wrong way, she will bite you.

Rule 3: You may only address Sphanx as ‘your highness’ or ‘great feline one’. Only I may refer to Sphanx by her name as she is MY familiar. 

Rule 4: under no circumstances are you to TOUCH or MOVE Sphanx once she is seated. For example, if you find that Sphanx has decided to take up residence on your lap, you may NOT MOVE until she decides to get up herself.

Rule 5: Sphanx has high demands for chin scratches and head pats. Comply with all demands.

Rule 6: Do not feed Sphanx human food. She wants it, but she cannot have it under any circumstances.

Rule 7: If you are entertaining any guests, please do so in another room. It will traumatise Sphanx to have multiple strangers in MY ROOM.

Rule 8: if you cannot comply with all above demands, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

IF (and that is IF) you can manage to follow these rules, you and Sphanx will live together relatively well. Unfortunately, due to Sphanx’s anxiety and hatred of the number 243, she will not be leaving 242. I hope you <strike>don’t</strike> enjoy your stay in room 242. If you have any further questions or concerns with the above, please address it to myself.

Kindest felicitations and regards,

Adeline Parker-Tate

Esq, OBE, MDD, PHD.

Room 243.

* * *

**Letter from a Vampire**

No and stop writing to me.

Kindest felicitations and regards,

London.


	2. Fitness Compliance & More Letters

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men allowed!!)**

_6.30pm_

Adeline: I’ve attached for everyone’s perusal a letter of the correspondence so heinously slipped through my door this morning at around 4.07am. [Attached Image: [“No and stop writing to me. Kindest felicitations and regards, London.”]]

MengDie: [Thumbs down emoji]

Cherry: Take some deep breaths, Ade.

MengDie: Take no deep breaths. Take your vengeance, Witch.

Claudia: Nope. Terrible idea.

Adeline: Yes, I shall take my vengeance.

MengDie: [Thumbs up emoji]

Anita: No one is taking vengeance.

Claudia: nice of you to join us.

Anita: I don’t much like replying to these groups message things. I’m already in about 10 of them. But I saw the word ‘vengeance’ and figured I should check this. No vengeance please.

Elinore: A reminder that as today is Tuesday, security staff need to go to the gym for a workout and fitness compliance assessment. That includes those with magic. There may come a time where you cannot use your magic to protect yourself @Adeline

MengDie: Then seek vengeance.

Anita: no vengeance.

MengDie: [Thumbs down emoji]

* * *

**Fitness Report**

**Name**: Adeline Parker-Tate

**Height**: 5’2’’

**Weight:** 120 lb.

**Score**: Fail

**Notes**: Parker-Tate presented late and belligerent. Was rude to this assessor and refused to comply with any requests. Does not fulfil workplace standards. It is recommended that Parker-Tate be assessed for compliance again on Friday.

**Signed**: London

* * *

**Circus of the Damned Staff Chat Group**

_8.45pm_

Wicked: The following staff need to re-take their fitness compliance assessments this Friday: Parker-Tate, Adeline

MengDie: [Thumbs up emoji]

* * *

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men allowed!!)**

_8.56pm_

Adeline: Did you guys see that BS in the staff chat group? Why am I being persecuted??

Claudia: Its not so much persecution as the fact your just didn’t comply with the standards of being part of the security team.

Adeline: It was because of frigging London, the bane of my existence! Did you see what he did to me?

Byron: Nup. I am too busy actually working tonight. Fill me in Duckie. I’m on a brief break so make it quick.

Adeline: He baited me, threw me to the ground and then held me down. I didn’t even get a chance to fight back.

Byron: scandal-ous. I bet you liked it a little bit. You like a good tie-down, don’t you?

Adeline: You are the absolute worst. 

Byron: but you love me anyway.

_1.08am_

Anita: @Adeline I can hear you yelling in the kitchen. What is going on?

Cherry: I’m trying to sleep. What is happening?

Byron: Adeline is giving London the what for. This is the single greatest moment of my life. Apparently he tried to move her cat or something from his room. SHE IS LIVID.

Cherry: Give us a live update, please

_1.10am_

Byron: From what I can gather this is regarding the room change, her cat and him failing her on the fitness compliance thing. She’s yelling at London, calling him a ‘freak of nature’ and ‘psychopath’.

Claudia: LOL

Cherry: [Laughing face emoji]

MengDie: [Thumbs up emoji]

Anita: Accurate

Byron: !!!!!!! HE JUST KISSED HER, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE, LONDON IS ABOUT TO DIE.

MengDie: [Thumbs up emoji] [Thumbs up emoji] [Thumbs up emoji]

Cherry: !!! What!!! 

Byron: YES, YOU HEARD IT FIRST HERE. She was yapping (we know our beloved Adeline likes to yap), and he just grabbed her and placed a big smooch on her mouth. And FYI @Adeline, I saw you kiss him back before you pushed him away.

_1.25am_

Cherry: @Byron!! And now what’s happened?? Hello??

Claudia: @Byron You can’t just leave us hanging.

Byron: Adeline punched London in the face and now she’s clutching her fist and abusing him for not being hurt by her punch.

Cherry: Classic.

_1.37am_

Adeline: HE IS THE RUDEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. WTF GUYS.

MengDie: [Thumbs up emoji]

Claudia: What happened exactly?

Adeline: He tried to move Sphanx out of the room and completely disregarded my concerns with Sphanx’s anxieties. As you all know, Sphanx is a precious little creature and cannot be moved _willy nilly_ from room to room. She has set herself up in 242, and that is where she wants to stay. WELL, Mr Big tough vampire is all like, “no, your cat can’t stay in my room.” And he had the audacity to say he DOESN’T LIKE CATS!!! AND YES, HE KISSED ME, LIKE SOME KIND OF MALE DOMINATING FREAK.

Claudia: Maybe just stay away? 

Adeline: WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOPATH DOESN’T LIKE CATS??

* * *

**Letter to a Vampire**

Dear <strike>York</strike> London,

In regards to our previous conversation in the kitchen early this morning, I would like to address the following:

  * What kind of person doesn’t like cats? (HINT: A PSYCHOPATH, HINT: I AM CALLING YOU A PSYCHOPATH).
  * How dare you intentionally go against my requests for your staying in room 242. Sphanx is a Genteel cat, why do you think you can try to move her?
  * Do not ever, ever, ever place your feral undead hands on me again. I WILL HEX YOU.
  * The next time you think ending a conversation by kissing me will end well for you, THINK AGAIN.
  * You deserved the punch I gave you, and referring back to point 3, I can and will Hex you the next time you try to bring those lips anywhere near my person.
  * If you think ‘saying sorry’ is enough of an apology, you are wrong.
  * I don’t like you. That should be pretty obvious, but I just thought I’d let you know in case there is any confusion. Like the confusion you must’ve been in when you thought it was a good idea to TRY AND KISS ME WITH YOUR STUPID MOUTH.
  * If you have anything further to say to me, you can write back. Please do not address me face to face.
  * As a reminder: you are an uncultured swine and I am a Child of the Moon Goddess, and Priestess of the St Louis Black Witches Coven.
  * Sphanx will go where she pleases. Raise a hand to her, and see where it gets you (HINT: YOU GET HEXED. HINT: I WILL HEX YOU).

Unkindest felicitations and non-regards,

Adeline Parker-Tate

* * *

**Letter from a Vampire**

Dearest Adeline,

Please allow me to apologise. As you have so wisely pointed out, you are a beautiful priestess witch, and I am a lowly, boar-like vampire who has usurped (through no intention of my own) your room.

I can assure you that my attempt to kiss you earlier in the kitchen was sorely misinterpreted. It was not, as you so eloquently put it, ‘an attempt to subjugate you with patriarchal sexual force’, but rather a fleeting moment of insanity on my part. Understandably being attacked by both a feline and witch in one evening can do that to a poor simple man, such as myself.

Your dedication to the wellbeing of your cat is admirable (although some might use the term ‘bat shit crazy’). I will do my best to uphold your reasonable, and definitely not absurd, demands outlined in our previous correspondence. 

Yours,

London.

* * *

**Diary Entry of Adeline Parker-Tate**

Dear Diary,

This is my first diary entry. Yes! Finally! I have decided to commit to a diary. My Cousin, Lena Castegarde, gave it to me for my birthday when turned 18 a few years ago. I've been meaning to write in you for a while, but quite frankly haven't been bothered to. But something atrocious happened this week and I need to write it down somewhere because my friends are being mean and won't let me talk about it anymore.

So anyway, i'm not sure where to start. Maybe the beginning? My name is Adeline Parker-Tate, i'm a Priestess of the St Louis Black Witches Coven. I like eating Korean food and I adore kittens. I work as a security support for the Circus of the Damned and other businesses in St Louis. I provide magical consultation and protection (yay me).

I've been working at the circus for about a year and its been pretty good. I have a tonne of friends here.

Anyway, to the stressful stuff. This week has been nuts. More than nuts. First it starts Monday when I was forced out of my room for an annoying vampire, who is literally named after a city (London? stupidest name i've ever heard and i have a cousin named ASTRID, like an ASTEROID). The second, Sphanx, is refusing to come to my new room, creating issues with the stupid vampire.

Third, being a problem solver, i decide to write him an amazing letter on Monday, outlining care for Sphanx, if they’re going to be roommates. I mean, you know Sphanx, she needs to be taken care of!!

Fourth, he writes back a bloody rude response! And then when I confront him about it all, he tries to kiss me! I don’t care how swarthy and sexy he is! You don’t just try and kiss someone you don’t know. But goddess above it was a reminder that I have not gotten laid in a whole year. Urgh.

So now it’s the third night (Wednesday) in a row and I’m laying here in bed, cannot sleep and quite frankly I am damned frustrated. To make it worse, Sphanx is still in that perpetrator’s room and refusing to budge. Some familiar she is!

I mean, when I started working with their security team a year ago I thought it was going to be great. No dramas, some good time away from the Coven. I love the coven, don’t get me wrong, but living under the same room as 20 other women in that _house_? I mean the idea of going back and sharing a room with my cousins….I don’t think so.

Although if this annoying London vamp sticks around I might have to have a long hard think about going back. 

Anyway, I need to focus on plotting my next move in getting Sphanx back. Its hard to sleep without her around :( 

Talk to you later, diary. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE. 

Adeline Parker-Tate. 


	3. Adeline Parker-Tate, Secret Agent

**The St Louis Dark Witches Coven Group**

Lola: Caution for tonight, witches, particularly the witching hour. Its the full moon and I shouldn't have to remind you chickies what happens tonight. 

Astrid: Yeah yeah yeah. Our inhibitions get loose, less control over our actions, poor choices. blah, blah, blah. 

Lena: Where are you staying tonight @Adeline? 

Adeline: I'm at the circus, I'm staying in my room, i'll be fine. 

* * *

**The Brain of Adeline Parker-Tate**

**Secret Agent**

**Day: **Friday

**Time**: 3.05am, approx. three hours before sunrise, 5 minutes into the witching hour. (Mental note: proceed with caution, inhibitions lessened). 

**Mission**: To get into room 242 undetected and steal Sphanx so that I can sleep

**Analysis**: Room 242 is next door to current location (243). Mission is stated above. Have disguised self in black as per all great secret agents. Black spy outfit will also help with camouflage in case am detected (Ok am wearing black silk camisole and shorts, but can’t be bothered to change out of pyjamas).

My resources tell me Vampire Perp, AKA London, AKA The Man Who Hates Cats, has left the room. The time is now. GO GO GO.

**Log: **Have managed to creep into room 242 undetected. Crawling along the ground like a super spy, am doing black flips and cartwheels like Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels. Am moving like the wind, I am invincible.

Mission objective has been located. One cat, identified as Sphanx, sitting perched on the bed, purring like a traitor, licking self and doing the weird stick-up-leg-flexible-thing. (note to self: google how cats are so flexible later).

Have approached bed, Sphanx looks up and flops down exposing belly for pats. THIS IS MY KRYPTONITE!! Am helpless, cannot do anything but sit on the bed and pet Sphanx’s soft, warm belly. I try to pick Sphanx up, but she hisses. This is a no – she knows what I’m up to! She is determined not to leave the room. 

Oh no! Danger, abort. Bedroom door is opening. Quick thinking has led me to hide under the bed. This is the perfect hiding spot; no one will suspect. All I can see is a pair of black boots. They walk towards the bed.

Can hear Sphanx suck up and being sickening, purring louder as the black boots approach the bed. (What a traitor! She is supposed to be my familiar!!). The black boots appear to be petting her and she is loving it. This is ridiculous!

“We have a guest in here, huh?” the deep, unfortunately sexy voice asks Sphanx.

Sphanx meows, and continues purring loudly whilst she receives pats. (Traitor!!).

The boots kneel down next to the bed. Oh no. Am going to be found wearing nothing more than pieces of silk under a strange man’s bed. Should have revised spy outfit. Why didn't i wear something more covered??

A face peers under the bed. The owner of the boots is revealed, shock horror its London, AKA The Man Who Allegedly Says He Hates Cats But Then Pats Them, and he is staring at me. One eyebrow is raised as if to say, ‘what the fuck’. Its a strangely sexy eyebrow.

“Why are you in here?” his deep voice asks, like a whisper wrapping around my body, slithering along my skin. The way he tilts his head, the way the words form from his mouth, its intoxicating, inflaming. Its like he's making love to me with his _scent_. 

“I can’t sleep without Sphanx,” Its like he’s given me truth serum or something!! What a Villain, “I came to try and get her, but she won’t move.”

He reaches out and grabs me, pulling me out from under the bed and pulls me to stand up. He smells like a man should, like wood, spice and sex, its disarming, alluring, _sickening_. (mental note: don’t be distracted Adeline! He is the perp here! You need to focus on your mission!)

He’s definitely looking at me like I’m a weirdo, but he also seems a little distracted because he is staring at my mouth. I’m close enough that I can see the colours in his eyes and the disgusting urge to kiss him in storming itself down my body. (You can’t get distracted here, agent! Return to your mission. It isn’t too late to try and get the cat).

“If you want to come in here and sleep in my bed, you could just ask,” With the way his eyes are staring at me there’s no mistaking the implication. Doesn’t he know I’ll hex him if he tries anything? I mean, maybe. I'm not really sure at this point. 

“No thanks,” I snort (Excellent, show him he has absolutely zero effect on you, he can't tell that you're lying to yourself about your emotions can he?), “I’m just here to try and see if I can move her.”

I steel myself and turn around to face Sphanx, I place my hands on my hips, because its TTGS (Time To Get Serious).

“You’re coming with me,” I say loudly to Sphanx, who roles back on her stomach and releases a low growl. She looks at me with utter contempt, as if to say 'fuck off, i'm staying here'. 

Oh dear, this is going to get wild. 

“I’m serious,” I try to grab the traitorous feline, but a little paw shoots out and she scratches me. “Ow, fine! We are so done here. Stay in this damn room,”  
  
I turn around and smack into London AKA. The Man Who Allegedly Doesn’t Like Cats But Actually Does And Also Smells Amazing And Is Clearly Very Sexy. 

He grabs me by the shoulders and I push my hands against his chest, trying to get some distance between us.

Ok ok, I don’t so much push my hands against his chest as lay them there and touch his chest, enjoying the feeling of his muscles which are devastatingly separated from my hands through his stupid shirt. It’s the witching hour! I can’t help it, I’m entranced by contact and he is unfortunately a sensory delight!

He knows this too because I then shout out, “Get away from me, you sensory delight!”

He looks at me in confusion at first, but also smiling at me. I notice his lips are very nicely shaped, full and erotic. Coupled with his smell and how he feels against my body, I know I’m about to go into overload.

“Why don’t you take a seat and stay with the cat.” He motions me towards the bed, placing a large hand on my back. Bad idea, i want to say to him. Except its the best idea ever. 

I want to touch him; I don’t want to pat the cat. The witching hour is definitely taking over, because I say it out loud.

His smile gets bigger, which should concern me, but all I’m interested in is the skin underneath his shirt. I say that out loud too.

“Ok,” he says calmly, as if its a normal thing to say, and pulls off the black t-shirt. His muscles are glorious, his shoulders perfect, his body is sculpted.

I can feel the desire flood through me. And I get the urge to lick him. So that’s exactly what I do. I lean forward, wrap my arms around his neck and lick my tongue from his chest to behind his ear. I don’t care if I look like a freak, or if he doesn’t want me to cover him with my saliva. I proceed to bite his earlobe and tug, then rub my face against his, rubbing our cheeks together. I inhale deeply, letting his smell wash over me. I lean to the other side of his neck and lick the vein across it. I pull back momentarily to look at one of his hands. I want to touch them too. I bring his large hand up and inspect his strong fingers. 

His hand has a life of its own! He takes it out of my hand and gently cups the back of my neck, dragging me towards his lips. Its like he’s drugging me, his lips against mine feel perfect and glorious, just like the first time he kissed me. His lips move against me, as if he's trying to kiss my insides. 

In a state of madness, I jump on top of him and push us both onto the bed.

I don’t even care about Sphanx anymore, and she doesn’t seem to care about what’s going on either because I can see she’s resumed cleaning herself, while I maul the vampire underneath me.

He’s driving me wild, kissing my neck, he gently pushes down the straps of my camisole top, slowly, reverently. I want him to rip the stupid thing of and touch my naked skin, but he’s taking his sweet time, gently caressing the skin as he reveals it to the air. He places a hot mouth over a breast, gently teasing a nipple with his tongue and I feel the wetness between my legs increase.

I know I’m hissing and moaning like a maniac, my only excuse being that it’s the witching hour in the week of a full moon and I’m usually asleep at this time or safely tucked away somewhere with my coven sisters.

I’m trying to hastily get his pants off, but he pulls back and I growl again.

“No,” he says, gently kissing me, “You don’t have full capacity. I won’t take you when you’re like this.”

In any other circumstance it would be sweet really, but it just annoys me because, damn it, I need him inside of me. 

He seems to understand, because he gently lays me down and proceeds to trace his hand down inside the little silk shorts. He touches me _there_. Sweetly, deftly, as if touching me was his sole purpose in life. I grip onto him like he’s my only source of water in a drought ridden desert.

The room is filled with moaning and begging and I realise its me, pleading with him for release. His fingers caress my core, another hand coming to play underneath the camisole top, stroking my breasts. His touch is maddening, stirring me into a frenzy. Soon the tidal wave of pleasure roles over me and I know I’m practically glowing. As the pleasurable tingles wash over me, he removes his hand, adjusts my clothes back into place and kisses me tenderly on my head, pulling me back to lay against his chest.

I know I’m drifting to sleep, and I should be mad and ashamed of myself. But I feel too good as I slip into my dreams. 

**Mission status**: Failed?


	4. Nooooooooo

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men allowed!!)**

_5.07pm_

Claudia: @Adeline, I’ve tried calling you 4 times in the last hour. Where are you?

Cherry: Haven’t seen her all day.

Anita: Me neither

_6.34pm_

Claudia: @Adeline can you please call me as soon as you see this message? I need to talk to you about your JOB. Which you should have been at over AN HOUR AGO. Where are you? Seriously, has anyone seen her?

Cherry: Nope

MengDie: No, I have not.

Anita: No.

Elinore: No.

Byron: Evening, duckies. Maybe you should check London’s room [Winky face emoji]

Claudia: Noooooooo

Cherry: Ahaha good one, B.

Byron: Yes I am serious. I went in there to talk to London and she was IN HIS BED snoozing her little head off. I was going to get her up after I saw your message before, but the big man told me ‘NO’. Also for those interested, it definitely looked like there’d been some kind of sexy time going on [winky face emoji]

Adeline: I AM SORRY, I AM COMING. IGNORE BYRON’S HEINOUS MESSAGES. IT'S ALL LIES.

Claudia: so you haven’t been snoozing your head off and sleeping during work time?

Adeline: No that’s true. And I was technically in room 242, but I’d argue its my room and NOT London’s. And NOTHING HAPPENED YOU FREAKS SO EVERYONE PLEASE STOP STARING AT ME TODAY.

Byron: I’m sorry, but that is because we’re all trying to take a good look at that Lovebite you tried to cover up with makeup.

Cherry: Yeah terrible job covering that up btw. Should’ve just worn a scarf.

Adeline: IT IS NOT A HICKIE.

Byron: You SMELL like him. Didn’t even have a shower afterwards, did you Duckie?

Adeline: I will glitter bomb you, so help me goddess.

Byron; Thanks, but no thanks. I’m still washing glitter out of my hair from Monday’s incident.

* * *

**Letter to a Vampire**

Dear London,

Re: Amendment to the list of rules regarding Sphanx’s care

Attached you will find an amendment to the rules regarding your stay in room 242. The rules previously outlined in my initial letters still stand. I have felt, due to recent circumstances that some new rules must also be implemented for the safety of everyone involved in Sphanx’s care.

  * Please don’t touch me. Don’t touch my hair, don’t touch my waist, do not touch me underneath my clothes. Although I occasionally pass you while working at the Circus, that does not entitle you to grab me and maul me like some half starved beggar with a plate of cured meats.
  * If you were to do any of the above, I would appreciate it done in private (ie. Not while I’m trying to be-spell weapons in the weapons room, not while I’m trying to eat my dinner, not while I’m in front of co-workers with big mouths (Byron)).
  * While I have enjoyed your version of ‘break time’, I would also appreciate it if we limited such breaks to only once or twice a day. four times, although extremely fun and pleasurable, stops me from doing my actual job, which you may have forgotten is as a part of the security team, and not, in fact, as your sex toy.
  * On that note, a gentle reminder that it was our agreement was that you would be at MY beck and call, not the other way around.

Yours indifferently,

Adeline Parker-Tate.

* * *

**Letter from a Vampire**

Dear Adeline,

Thank you for your most recent letter. I have reviewed your rules and have a few amendments to make myself.

  * Firstly, I object to being referred to as a ‘half-starved beggar’ who treats you like a ‘plate of cured meats’.
  * Secondly, _our_ agreement was one of mutual pleasure. Do you think flirting shamelessly with personnel at Guilty Pleasures constitutes as mutual pleasure?

Yours,

London.

* * *

**Letter to a Vampire**

Dear London,

Do you think being on Anita’s ardeur feeding list constitutes as _our_ mutual pleasure?

Didn’t think so. On that note, don’t talk to me ever again unless I need to relieve sexual tension. Bye Felicia.

Yours betterly,

Adeline Parker-Tate.

P.S. Attached is a photo of my sexy, incredible naked body. Have fun missing _this _tonight when I’m out at the club.


	5. Chapter 5: Commitment

**Private Messenger Conversation between Byron and Adeline**

_7.08pm_

Adeline: I’m going to have to skip out on coming to the club tonight.

Byron: Let me guess, busy getting your rocks off with your boyfriend?

Adeline: He’s not my boyfriend. But yes to the first part of your question. 

Byron: But I’m doing a new routine tonight 

Adeline: B, I cannot physically move my legs.

Byron: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think you’re having too much sex.

Adeline: It’s not just the sex, I’m also physically tied up. I managed to get my phone. London left briefly to get some food for me. 

Byron: Well can you come to Guilty Pleasures after you’re done? 

Adeline: This is London. Stop messaging Adeline – she isn’t coming out with you tonight. Bye. 

* * *

  
**Adeline’s Rules**

I, Adeline Parker-Tate, will obey the following rules:

1) When I am put in restraints I am to be subservient to my Master (London; expert swordsman, sex god and general top vampire).   
2) This means that I will not text others (including Byron) when I am tied up and supposed to be submitting.  
3) In an event which necessitates texting someone (probably Byron) I will ask permission from my Master.   
4) In the event of my breaking these rules, I will be punished severely. 

Signed,

Adeline Parker-Tate.

* * *

  
** Private Messenger Conversation between Byron and Adeline**

_11.45pm_

Byron: Are you alive, or did your lover finally kill you with exhaustion?

_1.19am_

Adeline: I’m alive. Just tired. Can we have dinner tomorrow? I’m feeling sad. 

Byron: What happened?

Adeline: Ok. So, is this weird? London and I are maybe making out, and he gets a call to go feed the ardeur and he just gets up and leaves. I feel a bit icky about the fact that he’s there right now with another woman. I know it’s a power thing, but just makes me feel off. Am I being unreasonable?

Byron: No. Not for humans. But we aren’t human, lover. We have different rules and you know that. 

Adeline: You’re right. This isn’t for me. Why did he have to be so frigging cute?

Byron: I think you might be the only person alive who thinks that fucker is cute. You know we literally call him ‘the dark knight’? Not because he’s like Batman, but because he’s a fucking drag. 

Adeline: Whatever. How'd your new routine go?

Byron: Good. Want to come to my room and Watch 'Real Wives of St Louis' and drink wine? And then I can tell you all about my new routine. 

Adeline: Ooh yes, yes please [wine glass emoji] 

* * *

  
**Post-It Note to London**

Hanging out with Byron. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.

-A 

* * *

**The St Louis Dark Witches Coven Chat Group**

_7.30am_

Ana: @Adeline Parker-Tate, I haven’t seen you physically for about two weeks. Are you coming to tonight’s coven meeting?

Adeline: I mean…the last meeting I attended you and @Lola were fighting to whole time. So will tonight’s meeting be any different, or what?

Astrid: Nup

Lena: No

Catherine: No 

Lola: Unlikely.

Ana: Rude. Tonight’s meeting with be different, because @Lola will finally realise I am correct when I say Putris Root is SUPERIOR to Lizard Lotus for Magic Inflicted wounds. 

Lola: NO. IT’S. NOT. 

Adeline: LOL. I’ll be over to visit tomorrow afternoon. 

Ana: You’ll also be there tonight. I may be your sister, but i’m also Coven mother and you are required to attend these meetings as one of our priestesses. 

Adeline: Finnnnnne. But can I grab some Eurola Oil while i’m down there?

Lola: Please tell me you’re ensnaring a man for blood sacrifice and not trying to seduce one. 

Adeline: I make no promises.

Ana: NO. Eurola Oil is ILLEGAL and so is BLOOD SACRIFICE OF HUMANS. See you tonight, Loser.

* * *

  
**Private Messenger with Lola and Adeline**

_7.47am_

Lola: I’ll give you some Eurola Oil when I see you tonight. 

Adeline: Thanks. 

Lola: Whose the guy? 

Adeline: Guy i’ve kind of been seeing.

Lola: Your sister is right, Eurola Oil is Illegal. But if you mix is with some perfume it’ll make for a less potent and legal aphrodisiac. Your guy will be all over you. 

Adeline: Well that’s not the problem. The problem is commitment.

Lola: Well Eurola Oil is useless then. If your problem’s commitment then the only thing you should do is stop seeing him. Any guy who doesn’t want to commit to you isn’t worth it. 

Adeline: Well it’s not like we’ve discussed commitment. 

Lola: Oh girly. What on earth are you doing?

Adeline: I don’t know. He’s not really the ‘discussing kind’. I’ve tried talking about it before, but it’s complicated. He assures me he’s likes me, but then he’s got this weird thing going on with an ex…

Lola: Nope. That is a massive red flag. Don’t be stupid, Adeline. 

* * *

  
**Text Message Received 09/05/19 at 9.05pm from London**

I haven’t seen you for four days. 

**Text Message Received 09/05/19 at 11.28pm from Adeline**

Sorry I’ve missed your calls. I’ve been busy. 

**Text Message Received 09/05/19 at 11.29pm from London**

Can I see you tomorrow evening? 

**Text Message Received 10/05/19 at 3.44am from Adeline**

I’m busy tonight. Maybe sometime next week. 

* * *

  
**Transcript of a conversation between Adeline & London**

_As written by Adeline Parker-Tate, who has no idea what is going on in her life and is trying to figure it out._

_Our scene is set at The Circus of the Damned in the Storage Room. Adeline is trying to order some charms in the room but can’t remember how to do so. London enters the room and approaches her._

  
London: Why have you been ignoring me? 

Adeline: I haven’t been ignoring you. Just been busy. 

London: If you’re jealous of Anita you don’t need to be.

Adeline: Excuse me? Jealous? I don’t think so.

London: So what’s this behaviour then? You ignore me for two weeks, you’re out constantly, you smell like another man, it’s like you’re purposefully baiting me. Well I’m biting, what is going on? 

Adeline: This isn’t working for me. I know its supposed to be casual and fun. But it’s not. I think I falling in love you. I love spending time with you, I love being with you, and I love having sex with you. But you don’t want commitment. You’ve made that clear. I didn’t think I wanted love, but I guess I do. So it’s simple really. We aren’t compatible. I’ve spoken to others about this, and I think it’s wise if we end this. Before it goes too far. 

London: I don’t know what to say. 

Adeline: You don’t need to say anything. I was just being honest. 

London: I don’t know if I love you or not. I haven’t really thought about it. I just know I like being around you and when you’re not with me, I don’t like it. 

Adeline: Well that’s not enough for me.

London: I didn’t say that I don’t love you. I said I hadn’t really thought about it. 

Adeline: That’s the same thing. You either know or you don’t. So…

London: So?

Adeline: Let’s just be friends. 

  
_End of Transcript. What the fuck did you do, Adeline?_

* * *

**Reasons I can be just friends with London**   
_By Adeline Parker-Tate_

  
Is it too late to change back to how it was? I thought this whole thing would be easier. What a frigging mess. 

Come on, come on, come on. Reasons I can be just friends….

1) He’s nice….mostly? – unless we’re working out and then he’s pretty mean.   
2) He smells good – I mean that is the feature of a friend, right? Couldn’t have a bad smelling friend.   
3) Friends can sometimes have sex. Although best not to anymore with him.   
4) This is the most pathetic list I’ve ever made in my life. Goddess help me.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6: Poetry

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men allowed!!)**

_9.17pm_

MengDie: I am sick and tired of your moping @Adeline. Leave the room, please. 

Adeline: You seriously messaging me when I am 5 steps away from you?

MengDie: Yes. Stop sulking about. It is annoying. 

Adeline: I am literally just sitting here doing my job! Also, you know you can TALK to me, right? 

MengDie: [Thumbs down emoji] 

Elinore: Remember, staff meeting in the Oval Room today at 9.30pm. Please be prompt. 

  
_9.45pm_

Cherry: Anyone else struggling to pay attention to this?

Anita: Yes

Adeline: Yup

Claudia: Yes

MengDie: [thumbs up emoji]

Byron: Yes – so lets have a good old yarn. Tell us, @Adeline why are you wearing exercise gear? Were you [gasp] working out? 

Adeline: RUDE. But yes. Stop looking at my ass @MengDIe.

MengDie: Stop pointing your ass at my eyes. 

Byron: How can any of us stop? That outfit should be illegal. 

Adeline: It is literally a pair of exercise leggings and a crop top. 

Byron: But you look so goooooooood. 

Adeline: Cheers. I’ve been sweating like a pig and I have no makeup on. This is the look de’jour of 2019. 

Claudia: On you it is. On me, I’d look like She-hulk

Adeline: are you nuts? You’re such a knockout. 

Cherry: You’re a total babe @Claudia!! 

Claudia: Aw thanks guys [heart emoji]  
  


* * *

  
**Incident Report**

**Time**: 10.45pm  
**Location**: Gymnasium   
**Filled out by**: Raphael

**Employees Involved**: Primo (primary), London (primary) and Adeline Parker-Tate (Peripherally).

**Comments**: physical outbreak of violence between London and Primo. Both were in the gym getting their work-outs in. Words were exchanged and became quite heated. London was the first to throw a punch, hitting Primo in the face. Wicked and Truth responded to the scene, fight was resolved. 

It was understood that the fight broke out due to inappropriate and unprofessional comments made to Ms Parker-Tate by Primo which London took exception to. The comments were understood to be of a lewd and sexual nature. 

**Noted Damages**: there is a Large Primo shaped hole in the east side gym wall, this will need to be repaired. 

**Witnesses**: myself, Lisandro, Fredo, Wicked, Truth, Damien, Jason, Faust, Clay, Adeline, Sylvie

**Items for follow-up**: Two warnings to Primo and London to be actioned. 

* * *

**Circus of the Damned Ladies Chat Group (No Men allowed!!)**

_11.15pm_

MengDie: A birdy told me that Primo and London got into a fight at the gym. Do you have anything to comment on @Adeline. After all you were there weren’t you? 

_1.25am_

MengDie: No comment. Silent for the first time in your life, @Adeline. 

* * *

**Letter to a Vampire**

Dearest London,

Hi, it’s me – Adeline. You may remember me from room 243. I’m writing to you because after last nights’ altercation in the gym, it’s pretty clear we need to clear a few things up. 

1) I do not need a man to defend my honour from crass, disgusting creeps. I can handle them myself. The way it reads to people is that I am your woman and in need of defending. Neither of these things are true.  
2) Stop trying to take care of me. Afterwards you were under the impression that you had to become some kind of he-man and ‘claim’ me or some patriarchal shit like that.   
3) Yes, we had sex in the gym shower, no it doesn’t mean that will be happening again. Please keep your hands and other body parts to yourself. (As you are well aware I have proclivities towards shower sex, how dare you prey on me in such a susceptible state)

If there is any confusion about any of these points, please remember that we are friends, and friends shouldn’t have sex. 

Piously yours,  
Adeline Parker-Tate.

* * *

  
**Letter from a Vampire**

Adeline – if you want to know my sentiments then read the below sealed message. 

Yours,   
London

[Sealed message: I like what you're wearing today. I enjoy when you wear leggings because I can see the outline of your cunt. It reminded me of a dream I had last weekend where you let me lick your pussy for two hours. On that note, I want to fuck you so hard, you go blind. I want to make you scream louder than when I had you in the gym shower. I fucking love your screams and the way your cunt clenches my cock when you cum. I've never been with a woman who convulses and shakes as much as you do when you orgasm.]

* * *

  
**Letter to a Vampire**

London,

That was the most vulgar, sexual thing anyone has ever written to me in my entire life. It simultaneously disgusted and impressed me. I am still blushing an hour later thinking about it. I don’t think you’re understanding this whole ‘just friends’ thing. 

Because friends to not write that to their other friends!! 

Adeline. 

* * *

  
**Letter from a vampire**

Adeline,

Well, I write that to my friends. Or rather, just one friend, which is you. 

Yours,  
London. 

* * *

  
**Letter to a vampire**

This is why you don’t have any friends! You know, if you wanted to be seductive you could send me romantic poetry!! Not that FILTH. 

* * *

**Letter from a Vampire**

Adeline,

Ok – here are my efforts at romantic poetry. In the sealed section below. 

[Sealed message: Adeline, you are so sweet, Adeline, I love sucking on your teats. I'm sorry for being such an awful git, let me apologise by licking your hot, wet slit. Adeline, you are so divine, Adeline, your orgasms are sublime. I dream about being your wild buck, please spread your legs so I can give you a good fuck.]

Yours,  
London

* * *

  
**Letter to a vampire**

You need to send me warnings about these things. You call that Romantic poetry? I hate to break it to you, but poetry which uses the words, ‘fuck’, ‘slit’, and ‘cum’ are not romantic! I had to rip that up as soon as I read it. 

* * *

**Answering Machine of Adeline Parker-Tate**

_"You’ve reached Adeline Parker-Tate, sorry I’m not here to answer your call, but leave a message and your details and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. BEEP "_

_6.30pm_  


“Adeline [pause] it’s London [Pause] call me back.” 

_8.37pm_

  
“ADELINEEEEE!! [noise in the background], girl I am at the club and it is going wild. Where the fuck are you? I thought we were going out to celebrate me being single and not dating an annoying werewolf. Oh and it’s your cousin, Astrid, by the way. You may remember me from such films as your life. Get your ass down here. WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

_11.45pm_

"Adeline, it's Astrid again. What the fuck just happened? One second I see you dancing with some random guy, the next you're being carried out over the shoulder by some other he-man barbarian? Lola said he's a vampire? Are you ok? What happened? Should I call your sister? Lola isn't too worried, she said that he's your boyfriend? Well then why were you grinding with that other guy? Seriously ring me. I'm super worried. [phone jostling noises] Adeline, It's Lola. [Astrid in background: 'hey give me back my phone!'] Don't call us back. Just go enjoy your night. Glad you and your man have come to an agreement. Toodles!"

* * *


	7. Agreement

**Written Agreement between Adeline Parker-Tate and London**

I, Adeline Parker-Tate, agree to the following:

  * I will never again allow another man to grind on me like a stripper pole. 
  * The only man who may grind on me is London (Sex god, expert swordsman, general top vampire).
  * I will not allow other men to touch my waist or kiss my hair.
  * I will not accept drinks or any other gifts from other men
  * I will see no others, including the fuckwit I was grinding on at the club. 
  * I will allow London to perform at least five hours of oral sex on myself every week.
  * If I do not adhere to any of the above, I will be severely punished.

In exchange for my faithfulness, London will agree to the following:

  * I will stop feeding Anita's ardeur. Adeline Parker-Tate will understand that this is a great sacrifice to my power and will acknowledge that this indicates commitment and fidelity on the part of myself.
  * I will perform at least five hours of oral sex on Adeline Parker-Tate every week. 
  * I will not see any other women, including Anita.
  * I will continue to write <strike>smutty</strike> romantic letters to Adeline Parker-Tate. 

Signed Adeline Parker-Tate and London. 

* * *

**Text Message Received 20/06/19 at 9.28pm from Byron**

Lady, don’t think I didn’t just see you walk out of room 242. What, your cat need a back rub urgently did it? I can’t imagine that’s the only pussy being taken care of in there. 

**Text Message Received 20/06/19 at 9.34pm from Adeline**

Ew, don’t be gross B. Legitimately just went in there for a chat about some security measures at guilty pleasures. You know, so we can keep that big ass of your safe.

**Text Message Received 20/06/19 at 9.39pm from Byron**

How about before you continue with that excuse I give you the following observations I noted as I chanced upon this situation. 

7.47pm – Byron walks down the hallway, he turns to pass the kitchens. He observes a witch being held against the fridge door, long legs wrapped around the waist of one vampire by the name of London. Upon further inspection it is evident that their lips are fused together in some kind of disgusting kiss. I continue on down the hall. 

7.59pm – Byron walks back down the hallway and passes the kitchen again, the previously mentioned witch and vampire are now on the kitchen table. There are napkins EVERYWHERE. Lips are still fused together, hands trying to frantically rip each other’s clothes off. I continue down the hall

8.10pm – Byron walks back down the hallway, unsure why he is doing this to himself. He passes down and observes two people now in the hall. and lo – he observes that, in fact, they have succeeded in freeing themselves from clothing and yes, quite clearly fucking in the hallway corridor, against the door of room 242. He asks himself, why don’t they just go in their room? It's pretty clear to Byron that they can only see each other. Which is romantic and disgusting. Byron continues down the hallway, although lingers at the end for a bit because it is damned impressive to watch two people go at it with such gusto. He contemplates whether the door will, in fact, break from such use. 

8.30pm – Byron walks down the hallway and observes that the witch and vampire have in fact disappeared into room 242. Although anyone walking passed can clearly hear what is going on. On that note, Adeline, I think you should invest in a gag for yourself (Phrases noted: 'Oh goddess, yes, fuck me like that', 'harder!', and my personal favourite, 'Yes! Yes! Yes! Put it in my ass.'). 

9.00pm – Byron walks down the hall way. The noises are reaching comic levels of loudness (No intelligible phrases noted, only loud moans and grunting). 

9.24pm – Byron passes Adeline in the hallway, leaving room 242. She looks flushed and her shirt it on backwards. 

Thus ends the longest text I have ever sent anyone. 

* * *


End file.
